Assassins' Paradise is a song written and performed by Dave, based off of Amish Paradise by "Weird Al" Yankovic & "Gangsta's Paradise" by Coolio; written for the theme of the AK Productions series Assassin Thirteen.
This track has never been sold as a single, or included in an album, although, if it were to be, the following is what it would look like.
- Assassins' Paradise [Without Backing Vocals] (1:19)
As I Walk Through My Office, To My Co-Workers' Desks, I Chuckle to Myself
'Cause There's Nobody Left!
& That's Just Perfect!
I'm an Assassin Ya See,
But I Won't Kill You Fast,
That'd Be Too Nice of Me.
When the Sun's Gone Down I'm Poppin'
Caps, and When it Comes Up
It's Time To Relax!
I'll Put a Bullet Through Your Chest and
a Knife Through Your Skin!
Slice a Sword Through Your Neck
And All I'll Do Is Grin!
I Used To Be a Businessman
Making Minimum Wage
Now I'm an Assassin,
I Make Thousands Each Day!
You Won't Make a Sound,
You Won't Even Scream!
I'll Make Sure of That:
I'm Assassin Thirteen!
(Been Spendin' My New Life Livin' In
Been Spendin' Most Our Lives Livin' In
Keep Living Most Our Lives, Livin' In
Keep Spendin' Most Our Lives, Livin' In