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Assassins' Paradise is a song written and performed by Dave, based off of Amish Paradise by "Weird Al" Yankovic & "Gangsta's Paradise" by Coolio; written for the theme of the AK Productions series Assassin Thirteen.

HistoryEdit

Track ListingEdit

This track has never been sold as a single, or included in an album, although, if it were to be, the following is what it would look like.


  1. Assassins' Paradise [Without Backing Vocals] (1:19)
    Album Art Not Available (For One Short of Four Article)

LyricsEdit

As I Walk Through My Office, To My Co-Workers' Desks, I Chuckle to Myself
'Cause There's Nobody Left!

& That's Just Perfect!

I'm an Assassin Ya See,

But I Won't Kill You Fast,

That'd Be Too Nice of Me.

When the Sun's Gone Down I'm Poppin'
Caps, and When it Comes Up
It's Time To Relax!

I'll Put a Bullet Through Your Chest and
a Knife Through Your Skin!
Slice a Sword Through Your Neck
And All I'll Do Is Grin!

I Used To Be a Businessman

Making Minimum Wage

Now I'm an Assassin,

I Make Thousands Each Day!

You Won't Make a Sound,

You Won't Even Scream!

I'll Make Sure of That:

I'm Assassin Thirteen!


(Been Spendin' My New Life Livin' In
Assassin's Paradise
Been Spendin' Most Our Lives Livin' In
Assassin's Paradise
Keep Living Most Our Lives, Livin' In
Assassin's Paradise
Keep Spendin' Most Our Lives, Livin' In
Assassin's Paradise
Paradise!)

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